I can’t smile without Abe Sapien

Just seeing ol' big "Red" and quiet "Blue" on scene was visually appealing enough!

I can’t believe it’s been 4 years since the first installment of one of my favorite Dark Horse heroes, HELLBOY. I won’t pretend I was cool enough to be familiar with Mike Mignola’s Dark Horse comic book series before seeing the movie, but I did enjoy how they allowed the campy fun of a B Movie get translated in an A movie setting. Plus, there’s all that cool occult and H.P. Lovecraft shit that gets me so incredibly excited. And this is something the second installment, Hellboy II: The Golden Army continues to do well.

I had previously watched the first 30 minutes at a friend’s house, and wasn’t impressed. I was at a loss as to why the film was painfully predictable. Unlike it’s predecessor, HBII was a completely original story with no basis from the comics, featuring a dying race of elves. The only problem was, I could see the scenes and story development coming from a mile away.

But watching the entire film on the big screen last night, I have to say I’ve completely changed my mind about the film. Despite its flaws (certain glaring plot holes, a weak non-villain, and a sub-par score), it absolutely blew me away.

An example of one of the stunning sets: A prince returns to his people.

You really need the theatre to appreciate Guillermo del Toro’s vision. The sets are absolutely breath taking, intricate, gorgeous, and magnificent. To see the one-armed King of Elves sit on a throne surrounded by rusting industrial pipes and falling golden leaves was unbelievable. The Troll Market and it’s million details, bringing to mind an Asian night market with imaginative supernatural beings selling scary little Tooth Faries was fantastic.

The characters were much stronger in this film, and I felt they did a better job of bringing out everyone’s personality with very effective scenes. This meant Hellboy himself sort of had to take a back seat, but it was worth it to see Liz Sherman step up to confident fire-starter and Abe to intelligent partner who discovers love for the first time.

Also, can I please mention how damn fucking hot Abe Sapien was in this movie?

Screen cap form the very awesome Hellboy II website.

I’m heart-broken that David Hyde Pierce no longer voices the gorgeous aquatic empath in this sequel, but everything I love about the character is still intact: and made better. I’ve always been drawn to the intelligent partners, always favoring brains over brawn. There’s also something really sexy about those eyes and that blue flexible body. And did they have to give him that tight black suit? I was perpetually distracted by his really sexy legs, all clung to like Han Solo’s pants in The Empire Strikes Back.

[/end scary geek slut mode]

Aside from the old cast, the characters/creatures introduced in HBII are phenomenal. Johann Krauss, the Ectoplasmic big shot from Washington, readily stole the show time and time again. Within the first few minutes of his introduction, Matthew turned to me in the cinema and whispered, “I really like him. I hope they don’t kill him!”. And of course, there’s the kick ass locker scene. I won’t spoil anything here, but you can watch a portion of it at this link. (Though I felt they cut the clip too short, but it does get the point across, and leaves the punchline for you to enjoy when you do watch the whole film)

The Elven twins with their ethereal features, their stately dress and manners, were somehow supposed to be the center of the film but fell to the wayside in the face of far more interesting characters. I have to admit that the undertones of an incestuous relationship was intriguing however. The fact that the Prince fought with a very Asian (specifically, Chinese) martial-arts aesthetic was a really nice detail too.

There are a handful more characters that really made the movie, but the one that really blew me away and had me OMGing every 2 seconds was The Angel of Death scene. I must have literally had goosebumps on my goosebumps as the Angel slowly revealed itself, from its eyeless cracked marrow features and its dark wings rimmed by unwavering eyes. When it rasped with its voice of sand and warned Liz Sherman against the future, “You my child will suffer the most”, I could have fainted. On a personal level of taste, I’d say I would have spent Php180 just for that five minute scene.

"Make your choice"

But for most people, Hellboy II: The Golden Army is the kind of movie you go watch if you’re tired of the comic book hero movie trend pervading Hollywood. While I did love The Dark Knight and am looking forward to the similarily toned Watchmen, it’s nice to take a break from the “gritty”, “realistic”, and “deeply dark” films. Aren’t comics supposed to be fun and cool in the first place?

HBII, with its motely crew and ancient fantastical creatures can barely fail to disappoint. Even without having read the comics, or being in anyway cool and geeky like me (Hah!), it’s hard to not have a good laugh with these characters, or be blown away by the majesty of certain scenes.

I do have my quibbles (good god, why weren’t there more Abe Sapien scenes?!), but I left the cinema impressed and dazzled by del Toro’s latest installment. I really don’t know how I can wait another 4 years for the third one!